Lost
June 9, 2008Give strong drink to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish. Let them drink and remember their misery no more.
PROVERBS 31:6-7
I have been drunk since the end of March. Each time the sun sets signals a need to open a beer bottle. My life is a mess. My mom said I needed rehab.
Tomorrow, the first semester of my second year in law school shall begin and I don’t know how to pick up my shit and do the same manic way of studying. I’m so lost. I don’t think I’m ready to be sober for more than 24 hours. I’m not ready. I can’t do it.
Sobriety equates facing the heartache, the broken dreams. I don’t want to. I don’t want to sleep sober because I am certain I wouldn’t be able to close my eyes and not see him. Koryn said, it’s the moment between dreaming and waking up that actually kills you. I need alcohol to have that moment pass or I’ll just die in anguish.
Lord, please help me in this struggle. I’m so lost. Please find me.
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please?
methinks we all have to be lost every now and then so that we realize all over again that we can find our way on OUR OWN.
Posted by Penny Lane at June 16, 2008, 11:32 pm