Kate Winslet’s WHAT IF, My Alcohol & Violet Hair

Here I stand alone with this weight upon my heart

And it will not go away

In my head I keep on looking back Right back to the start
Wondering what it was that made you change

Well I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I’d stayed
If you’d tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we’ll never know

Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heart-ache
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
Right back to the start
Would you take the chance and make the change

Do you think how it would have been sometimes
Do you pray that I’d never left your side

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I’d stayed
If you’d tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we’ll never know

If only we could turn the hands of time
If I could take you back would you still be mine

‘Cos I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keep on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away
‘Cos I still love you more than I can say
If I’d stayed
If you’d tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we’ll never know
We’ll never know

I guess I’ll never know…

So after an insanely drunken night last Saturday, I woke up and found my apartment in chaos. Shards of glass all over my sink, my chairs on the floor, my bags and books near my window, my sheets gone, my mugs in pieces, his pictures folded in the drawer and my shower curtain on the bathroom floor. Again, I have drunk myself to oblivion it was almost lethargic. Anastacia mode switched on. Sometimes, there are certain things one chooses to forget.

Yesterday, I woke up and cried the tears that I pray would be the last of them all. Stripping myself out of bed, I took a long deep breath and decided to pick up my shit and forge on. I can’t go on living like this. Law school is unforgiving and has no tolerance for a deranged heartbroken fool like me. It’s time. Self-rehab needs to take place ASAP.

To commence the new beginnings, I chopped of my hair and dyed it violet (doesn’t look close to violet though but burgundy). To quote my favorite Penny Lane, “Get ready world! This bitch is bouncing back.“